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[Nov. 27th, 2009|09:32 pm] |
There are some things in my life I need to accomplish sooner rather than later. I'm not talking about anything major. Just little changes.
I want to discover musical artists and only listen to new music for a while instead of the same old songs I've grown comfortable hearing over the years.
I want a warm coat for the upcoming/current cold season.
I want to laugh more.
I want to take Frankie and Lacy for a walk at least once a day.
I want to dance more.
These are just a few of my current hopes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|10:41 pm] |
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The Winter Nemesis is almost back in town. No scarf or glove can match its terror. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 8th, 2009|07:51 pm] |
Summer is over, and as heart-breaking as this sounds, I feel like it never happened for me, or Selena. I mean, I felt the heat (until it started getting COLD IN JULY) and I saw some meteors, but there were no road trips or great parties or baseball games or lazy afternoons at the beach. It was just me and Selena feeling imprisoned in a faraway city. She moved away at the beginning of summer, and I accompanied her. Our summer consisted of gas stations and grocery stores and getting pissed at our fat, grumpy neighbor and driving back and forth from Sterling Heights to Ortonville a thousand times and maybe three seconds of frisbee. That dreamlike state of summer we were hoping for never really happened.
I remember all last winter, while Selena and I froze our butts off, all we talked about was how excited we were about summer and all the awesome things we were going to do and how happier everything would make us feel. Now that summer is letting Fall get ready for its 2009 debut, I can't help but pray for better days to come. I don't think Selena and I could have made it through this summer without each other, but now that we've made it, I firmly believe that her and I deserve some kind of medal or reward. We had the worst kind of obstacles that two twenty-somethings could have: misunderstanding and manipulative parents, Tom the Stepfatherjerk, frequent isolation, heavy financial burden, millions of spiders, and of course, Jim a.k.a. Colonel Douche Bag a.k.a. Selena's unintelligent, arrogant, pissy next-door neighbor.
So, after succumbing to and fighting off these evils of the world, WE DESERVE A VAFUCKINGCATION. Or at least a nice Fall, and I don't mean physically. Fall or Autumn or whatever better be nice to us, OR WE WILL BEAT UP THE WORLD. |
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| Note the pattern and do it yourself. |
[Aug. 26th, 2009|03:35 am] |
I love Selena Sunday.
I like blueberry pancakes.
I'm indifferent about celebrity gossip.
I dislike wasps and hornets.
I hate being broke.
Okay, now it's your turn. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 24th, 2009|09:29 pm] |
I am in a crisis.
I swear, life could not be any more difficult for me than it is right now. I'm not going to go into all the crummy little details, but more or less, my extreme lack of financial comfort has led me down a path of awful circumstances. What's even worse is that Selena, also known as the love of my life, is in the same conundrum, except she has to live by herself in a place the size of a closet that's miles and miles away from any friends or family. And she doesn't have a car. This isolation is sucking the life out of her, and because I lack the money and magic to rescue her, the most I can do is accompany her. All of this is very painful for her and I.
While others spend this summer going to bars and clubs, camping, having parties, going to the movies, hanging out at the beach and stuff like that, Selena and I have spent this summer watching television and suffering. We're stuck in an unbearable world, and there's nothing we can do to get out of it. Money is the only solution, which is why I hate money. It ruins lives. When is all of this going to end?
If you're reading this, you should feel grateful that you're not the one typing this. Be happy that you're not the one going through all of these horrible things. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 12th, 2009|08:50 pm] |
I'm trying to make my way into acquiring jobs in the realm of photography, and it is SO DIFFICULT! So far, I've had a couple potential clients, but then they either bail on me or don't want to pay for my services. How the hell do people end up do weddings and photo shoots and stuff on an almost daily basis? I'm just trying to work it out so I can have one or two jobs lined up every weekend, and it is SUCH a struggle. Seeing that all I have is a portfolio of my own personal work which lacks photography from previous jobs (since technically I've never has MY OWN photo job before), it's an epic battle.
Seriously, if all I had was one or two shoots every weekend, I'd honestly be making over 20 times more money than I am right now with my stupid mall job. My car is jacked up, I'm up to my eyeballs in debt, I can't put gas in my car without Selena's help, bills bills bills, and it never ends. I just want to support myself through doing what I love. Apparently, it seems next to impossible in regards to making it happen. |
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| starts with "s", rhymes with "bummer". |
[Jul. 21st, 2009|01:59 am] |
i can't quite figure out the meaning behind this summer. i do know, though, that it feels a bit surreal, like it's not happening. it's in a league of its own, unlike any summer or season i've ever experienced. it seems that there are three themes swimming around my life during this unfortunately mild season: love, distance and the struggle to survive. i've never felt so old before.
there are no hang outs with the usual friends. the usual friends are far away, doing things not so usual. in the past, the most important component to every summer was spending almost every day with my closest friends and doing summer things. that's gone now, and oddly enough i'm okay with it, or at least i'm used to it at this point. i do miss hanging out in apartments, though.
if i didn't have selena in my life, i don't know where i'd be. probably somewhere not nearly as good. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2009|06:46 pm] |
i'm excited with this newfound arrangement, this plan to move north with my love. our place will be tiny, but our hearts will make it feel like home, a big home. ortonville, here we come. soon.
this is a revolution of the mind. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2009|01:48 am] |
Dear world,
You may or may not know this, but I make music. For reasons I cannot explain, I am much better off by myself than I am with others when it comes to writing and recording music. I guess you could say it is something that I consider very personal in my life. It's a release. It is a ship in my life that allows me to sail through hard oceans and stay above the water. All of this is why I released an entire full-length album (Basement/Apartment) last year and didn't care that only 15 people would listen to it despite the fact that the album was over two years in the making. I just didn't care, but it wasn't always that way for me.
I used to make music for people to listen to and like, which would make me feel better in return. Basically, music was a self-esteem builder. I only recorded songs and showed them to the world so they could tell me how great I was at it. I really, really, REALLY wanted people to see me as one of the best artists in the Detroit area. It would take a good long while to realize that I'm not a great musician, which is where I am right now. I had the music right, but the reason wrong.
Now, I don't care who listens. However, there are a small handful of individuals who truly enjoy my music and look forward to hearing my material. I am forever thankful for you all, and I'm hoping you know who you are. My next two projects are dedicated to you.
With all of that out of the way, I would like to announce my next two albums, which will be my last. For reasons I can't quite explain, these two albums will be the last pieces of music I ever record. There is a very slight and unlikely chance that this may not be true in the end, but after this, I don't see myself making music. I don't know. Anyway...
My full discography is listed below. Thank you.
-Album: Basement/Apartment
-Release: October 2008
-15 Songs
-Album: Hard Oceans EP
-Release: June 2009
-5 Songs
(no image)
-Album: TBA
-Release: Winter 2010
-13 Songs
(no image) |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 22nd, 2009|09:36 pm] |
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I'm making my account "friends only". If you still care to read, let me know. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2009|11:28 pm] |
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I don't like the way I feel right now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 18th, 2009|09:25 pm] |
Today is my birthday. I turned 23. All I've done today is sleep at my girlfriend's house, take a few pictures, and lay in my bed. No party. No celebration. No trip to the bar with friends. But I did get a lot of birthday wishes on FACEBOOK. Haha. However, I want thank Nicole Akopian for being the only non-family member to call me and wish me a happy birthday.
Birthdays are no longer special to me. My birthday is just a reminder that I'm getter older.
Anyway... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 10th, 2009|06:39 pm] |
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Kick. Punch. It's all in the mind. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2009|06:26 pm] |
Okay, let's face it. The last two summers have been mediocre ones. Not since The Great Era of Redondo Beach have times been so care-free and chill with big laughs and new discoveries always nearby. I'm starting to understand it though, and history books tell of similar memories. Everything in history is broken up into ages and eras: The Middle Ages, The Dark Ages, Ice Age, Renaissance, The First & Second Industrial Revolutions, et cetra.
I would have to say that June 2005 - October 2006 was my Pre-Dark Age. I can't quite call it a Renaissance, because it is my belief that the renaissance of my life has yet to arrive, or if it has, then it was a lame one. The word itself means "resurrection, rebirth, reawakening, regeneration" and so on, lots of re's.
All I'm saying is that if Summer 2009 is a fail, then that will be the third consecutively failed summer in my life. If this so happens, then I will never anticipate another summer ever again. Unfortunately, my hopes for the approaching summer are very low. There are a few major key components that will be lacking this year, one of those being the most powerful geometric shape known to man. So, until things look up, I'm going to call the approaching warm season Bummer 2009.
All of this is why I am strictly opposed to getting older. The best years of my life happened between ages 17-20. Don't get me wrong, a LOT of messed up things happened during those years, but still, those were very defining years in my life. Now, at this point in time, everything feels very cold and motionless despite the immense stress brought upon me by school. Oh, it also doesn't help that I'm broke and jobless with a fuckload of bills and expenses and debts to pay. In a personal sense, I've never found my days to be so unenjoyable as I do now.
Then again, I'm sure everyday would be an awesome one if I was just a liiiiiiitle more positive.
Yeah, that's probably it. And that's about it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2009|10:15 pm] |
I haven't felt so much panic as I do right now.
Upon starting my Winter 2009 semester at the College for Creative Studies, I was forced to switch from full-time to part-time at my place of employment. I've been working for this employer for two years and have worked my way up in the ranks, which is why I was a little hesitant on making this decision. However, it is impossible for me to be a full-time student and work 40 hours/week. The up-side of this is that I'd at least have my job, and with the way things are going, jobs are hard to come by. So I was happy for that. I was. Not anymore.
I've been laid off. Now, I have no job, no money AT ALL, no gas in my car, no cigarettes, and lots of bills that are due, which I cannot pay. My phone will be shut off soon. Shortly thereafter, I won't be able to use my car. Finally, without the money to pay my credit card bill, Visa is going to fuck me up.
I am at a very bad place in life right now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 24th, 2009|05:06 pm] |
In spite of my current state of joy and well-being, I've realized that I don't have friends. Well, I do, but they don't make plans with me, because they're either far, far away at school or they simply have busy lives of their own to attend to. And as far as acquaintances go, I never see them, simply because I have no time for them.
No one should be offended by the list I'm about to make. If you're not on it, then do something about it. Anyway, the following is a list of those who I consider my friends, whether they have time for me or not:
Matt Feuer
Al Krakosky
Selena Sunday (girlfriend)
Jeff Cardwell
Laura Klein
Nicole Akopian
Brian Devall
Brian Michalczak
Jake Hicks
I like making lists. It's my way of organizing my silly brain. I make all kinds of lists, too.
With the exception of my mother treating me like a 12-year old and my poor eating/sleeping habits (which cause health problems), I am enjoying life. I can honestly, say that I'm happy. And when the going gets rough, I just keep going.
Fin. |
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